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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28537404">And when push comes to shove</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichabodcranemills/pseuds/ichabodcranemills'>ichabodcranemills</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Angst, Attempted Murder, Banter, Bittersweet Ending, Embedded Images, F/M, Friendship, Knives, M/M, Poisoning, The Vault (Doctor Who)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:55:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,445</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28537404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichabodcranemills/pseuds/ichabodcranemills</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s nothing the Master wants more than to kill the Doctor. Sort of. The story of five times when Missy has definitely tried to kill her best enemy and one time she didn't. If the death didn't stick, well, a cosmos without the Doctor scarcely bears thinking about.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eleventh Doctor/Missy, Missy &amp; Bill Potts, Tenth Doctor/Missy, Twelfth Doctor/Missy, Twelfth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Fiftieth Masterversary Big Bang</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Throwing stars</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy 50th birthday to our favourite bastard!<br/>The art from this fic was made by the amazing <a href="https://bebelaolf-but-its-my-art-blog.tumblr.com/">Bebela Olf</a>. You should definitely check her tumblr for more awesome Doctor Who art :D</p>
<p>Thank you also to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThirteenOakdown">ThirteenOakdown</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjodieyet">notjodieyet</a> for beta'ing and providing insightful commentary!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>I - The price of my love’s not a price that you’re willing to pay</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Vault - 1940s</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looks at him like a painter would look at their muse.</p>
<p>The Doctor only wishes she would be painting him. He’d be more inclined to indulge her if she was painting him. He’d put on any silly clothing she wanted. Hell, he’d pose nude if she requested.</p>
<p>“Now dear, I won't tell you again, stop moving.”</p>
<p>“I said I'd get you a piano,” he retorts, twisting his wrists on straps that are already digging into his skin. </p>
<p>“But it won't arrive soon enough and I’m bored <em> now </em>,” Missy answers with a pout, adjusting her posture.</p>
<p>“Or we could play Scrabble.”</p>
<p>“Doctor, dear, if you suggest a human game again, I'll aim at <em> your head </em>.”</p>
<p>“Missy…”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on, you old grumpy fool. It’ll be fun!”</p>
<p>The Doctor doubts she’ll actually try to kill him. After all, it would just cause him to regenerate and the energy of it would mess her entire Vault up - just when she’d found furniture she liked, too. Also, she had taken the deal, hadn’t she? She was going to try and learn how to be better. Less homicidal.</p>
<p>And yet, Missy looks particularly homicidal weighing throwing stars with a perky smile and a glint in her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She had convinced the Doctor to let himself be tied to a spinning board so she could perform a little circus trick. Then she procured the set of throwing stars out. He has no idea where she’d found them, but he had been quite lenient with her requests for the first five years. Grief over River and guilt over having Missy imprisoned had kept him distant and distracted. She would give him a list of requests and he would send Nardole off to acquire everything with little more than a glance to cross out anything deadly. Once things improved in their relationship, he became more careful. He even asked her what she had done with certain things, like the hot air balloon, but her answer was always “don’t worry about it, dear.”</p>
<p>“Ready?” Her smile is infectious. How could such a murder-inclined smile be so endearing? The Doctor makes sure to keep his own lips in a tense line before nodding, lest she thinks he condones or approves this game.</p>
<p>The act is complete with circus music, stage lights and paper decoration. The Doctor can only wonder what Nardole will make of the entire affair. Although after the mechanical bear incident, he’s probably learned to stay out of hearing distance whenever the Doctor goes down to the Vault.</p>
<p>The first three throws are fast and precise. None of the stars are even close to his body, but he knows Missy is just warming herself up.</p>
<p>“I’m not very sure that this really helps to cultivate a more benevolent nature in you.”</p>
<p>“Well, I need to let out steam in some way, don’t I?” The next star pins a flap of his coat to the board. “Now stop talking, you’re distracting me.”</p>
<p>By some trick the Doctor can’t see, Missy makes the board spin faster. It’s making him dizzy, but he doesn’t want to complain. She'll just mock him for being too weak to handle some motion. Maybe she is right and this will help her be calmer. He’s probably being overly cautious.</p>
<p>The next star gets stuck between two of his fingers.</p>
<p>“Not the guitar hand,” he complains.</p>
<p>“Maybe it wouldn’t be such a great loss.”</p>
<p>“Then we would never play duets.”</p>
<p>She ponders his words and agrees.</p>
<p>“That piano better get here soon.”</p>
<p>He nods. He would break and enter a music school to steal one if he needed, but he’ll get Missy her piano. The Doctor can imagine her playing already. Her slender fingers dancing across the board as nimbly as they handle the throwing stars.</p>
<p>The thought makes him remember Gallifrey, of young Koschei singing during music lessons. His first body wasn’t one for musical instruments, but the way he could carry a tune… He wondered if Missy would-</p>
<p>“Stop reminiscing. I can smell it from here.”</p>
<p>“I’m not. And you can’t smell my thoughts.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I can. You wouldn’t know the amazing new skills I picked up in this body.”</p>
<p>“Do you think you could sing?”</p>
<p>He speaks without thinking, but Missy’s movements show him his mistake. The star she throws next grazes his cheek, leaving a paper-thin cut before setting angrily on the board.</p>
<p>“Don’t.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean-”</p>
<p>She throws another star. This one takes out a lock of his hair.</p>
<p>“Don’t talk to me about Gallifrey, however idyllically you remember us there.” Her voice is calm, playful even, but he doesn't miss the sharp edge underneath it, the bitterness of thousands of years. “It wasn’t fun. We weren’t happy, we never were.” </p>
<p>The board stops moving and she walks towards him, like a predator.</p>
<p>“And do you know what I was doing the night you <em> left </em>me there?”</p>
<p>She gets a dagger from somewhere in her dress - of course she’d have one, he knew that before he even saw the glint of the blade - and places it on his neck, pressing hard enough to draw blood.</p>
<p>“I was singing. Vansell had organized a lovely party and it was so boring I wanted to blow my brains out. My best friend wasn’t even there so we could make fun of people together. Oh, but they asked me to sing. <em> Doesn’t Koschei have the most beautiful voice?  </em>Even your brother and your wife were there and both agreed.”</p>
<p>He can’t apologize for things that happened over a thousand years ago, when they were barely more than children. So he just looks at her. Into her deadly blue eyes. Koschei-blue.</p>
<p>“But no Theta. No, he was the Doctor already and he had left.”</p>
<p>The Doctor swallows, his Adam’s apple bobs dangerously close to the dagger.</p>
<p>“You wouldn’t kill me.”</p>
<p>“Of course I wouldn’t, dear,” she says with a smile a touch more murder-y than before.  “Then I’d be stuck here with Nardole <em> lecturing me </em> until your regeneration sickness passed. I can think of thousands of gentler forms of torture.”</p>
<p>She retrieves her dagger and walks back towards her throwing place.</p>
<p>“Now stop talking! You’re distracting me!”</p>
<p>She throws the dagger. If a tear rolls down the Doctor’s cheek, it probably has to do with how it nicked his neck. No other reason for it. Not at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Double-decker bus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>No,</i> she thinks, <i>Absolutely not. I cannot risk meeting you before time and this you is two whole versions too soon. The less time I spend near you, the better. Besides, you’re all needy and sad and I can’t deal with that right now.</i></p><p>“I’d love that,” is what she says.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>II - You’ll be the one complaining when I am gone...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>The Vault - sometime in the 1980s</b>
</p><p>The Doctor keeps too many mementos. Photographs, and jewellry, and various trinkets old companions left behind. Missy considers, just for a moment, to misplace some of the objects, or even to spirit some of them away to her Vault. But no, that would be unwise. It would become obvious that she could leave the Vault, and even though she suspects the Doctor knows already, confirmation would kill all the fun.</p><p>Also, he might be angry. Properly angry, and even add a better lock to her door. That might take weeks of meddling to figure out how to crack, and she doesn’t want to waste time on such a menial task. So she just caresses everything, imagining all the lives the Doctor lived when he was away from her and the ones she deliciously meddled with.</p><p>He still has the blue and purple scarf he got that fine winter morning in 2008. Oh. That was funny. Missy is sure that the Doctor, even now, doesn't know the truth behind it. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>London, 2008</b>
</p><p>A plan such as hers requires delicate work. Too many moving pieces, too many bits and bobs to scatter throughout history to make sure everyone is precisely where they should be at the moment they should be. That’s the only reason she’s hanging around Earth so early in her own timeline. She’s even dressed differently too, with trousers, which are not as comfortable and stylish as her long skirt, but she’s trying to lay low. Even her hair is tied in a simple bun, not its usual elaborate updo.</p><p>Laying low is <em> so boring </em>. What’s the point of constructing an evil plan if she can’t be dramatic and flamboyant about it? The Doctor really should appreciate more the effort she puts into things, for him.</p><p>“Excuse me, Ma’am, could you move just a tad bit to the right? I need to have a look at this shopping window.”</p><p>Speak of the Devil. Missy turns around to look at him. So young and wiry with those beautiful brown eyes. That’s too much of a coincidence. She hides her surprise and flashes him a huge smile.</p><p>“My, of course, dearie. Anything I could help you with?”</p><p>“Ah, no. Just need to take a good look. Do you work here?”</p><p>“Oh no! Retail is an absolute no-no for me, no matter how desperate times are.”</p><p>"Ah, come on! It can’t be so bad. I had a friend who worked at retail- eh, well, she never spoke fondly of it, but she also never-"</p><p>Oh, no. Not Rose again. She has to stop him before he gains momentum.</p><p>"You wanted to look at the window."</p><p>"Oh, yeah. I've got weird readings here and I saw technology that was way too advanced for this time. It's not quite converging here, but this is definitely a weird spot."</p><p>That’s how he speaks around humans? Desperate for their attention, no other explanation. Missy wonders what would be the best angle here. To play the wide-eyed enchanted human - "too advanced for this time? But does that mean <em> you </em>aren’t from this time either?" That’s what he’s fishing for, she guesses, but she knows that the best choice would be to stay out of his way and not entangle their timelines any further. She can’t risk having the Doctor wanting to spirit her away as an impromptu companion for his adventure of the day. So she chooses nonchalant.</p><p>"If the peak of the readings isn’t in this store, it might be from one of their suppliers,” she says, shrugging her shoulders.</p><p>He turns around to face her with the biggest grin. "Oh, you are brilliant, you really are."</p><p>Missy flashes him a coy smile and the Doctor’s face lights up. It’s amusing. He loves that, doesn’t he? A pretty lady just enchanted by him. He turns to look at her, forgetting his investigation for the moment. </p><p>“Would you like to have some coffee?”</p><p><em> No, </em> she thinks <em> , Absolutely not. I cannot risk meeting you before time and this you is two whole versions too soon. The less time I spend near you, the better. Besides, you’re all needy and sad and I can’t deal with that right now. </em></p><p>“I’d love that,” is what she says.</p><p> </p><p>The Doctor guides her to the nearest cafe they find and rants a bit about the mystery of the week. He doesn’t explicitly state that the thing is alien, but it’s clearly non-human. Missy “ohs” and “ahs” when it’s appropriate and, if she’s being honest with herself, it’s delightful hearing him rambling, so passionate about a mystery (blissfully, it has nothing to do with her plan) and not trying to one-up him for once. Rassilon, how she misses him. </p><p>“Eh, I should go back to my friend,” he says, once the two of them have downed perhaps two litres of coffee. “I left her in a hat store. I mean, she insisted on buying hats and I said: ‘suit yourself’, which for Donna will be code to: ‘he’s taking me to the Planet of the Hats’. And…. I didn’t deny it.”</p><p>“Planet of the what?” she asks him in genuine shock. What is this idiot talking about?</p><p>“Not a real planet,” he points out.</p><p>Missy laughs. Look at him, playing a prank on his Earth girl of the moment and so pleased with himself. He smiles back at her and she remembers how much she missed that needy smile. She considers that her next words will probably give her a hell of a headache, but since she’s already here, potentially risking a time-continuum tear, she might as well have fun.</p><p>“But I figure you’ll take her to some planet? A real one.” <em> Come on, Doctor, catch up. </em></p><p>“Yeah, so many to see. Or maybe take her to the past. Or the future, I think she didn’t see as much of the future as she’d like to and,” <em> Finally, </em> “... Hang on-”</p><p>The shoe drops. His eyes open a bit wider and Missy bats her eyelashes before asking in sugar-sweet fake innocence. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re not surprised I’m talking about space and time travel.”</p><p>“No, I’m not, Doctor,” she says, solemnly. He looks more intently at her, not in recognition, not yet. But surprised. Perhaps even afraid. It’s delicious.</p><p>“I know you, don’t I?”</p><p>“Oh, my dear. Must we really do that?”</p><p>“Do what?”</p><p>“Haven’t you learned already that things will be explained when they’re explained? That’s what the good professor says, isn’t it? Spoilers?”</p><p>He blinks in confusion. “What?”</p><p>“Oh, no. Forget it. It’s way too early for that still.”</p><p>“But… who are you?”</p><p>“A friend, I hope. Or more than that.” <em> Oh, so, so much more, you silly idiot. </em></p><p>“More?”</p><p>Oh. She shouldn’t have said that. Well, she shouldn’t have talked to him or accepted his invitation in the first place. So Missy does the only thing she can think of to stop his fantastic brains from working too fast and figuring this out. </p><p>She leans forward and kisses him. </p><p>He kisses her back without a moment’s hesitation - he really did go around kissing everyone this time, didn't he? The kiss is quick, much quicker than she would like, so as to keep him from getting a sniff of Time Lord scent, or the racing of two hearts. She breaks the kiss and looks at him, his eyes still closed, his lips twitching, still seeking hers.</p><p>“That was…”</p><p>“I know,” she says, out of breath. Because it was. Amazing. Unparalleled. Phenomenal. The kind of thing one only feels when they're kissing their eternal nemesis, their only true love.</p><p>She rises and takes a step away from the table. He follows suit.</p><p>"Is everything all right?” he asks, earnestly concerned. “I didn't mean to-"</p><p>"It's quite alright. Don't worry," she hushes him.</p><p>She hates how soft and open and practically begging for her he is. This little shred of him who, on some unconscious level, knows this person is his Master. She hates him. She wishes she could end this here and now. Push him in front of the double-decker bus that’s coming down the street and shoot him mid-regeneration. End this plan, end everything. No cyber army raining from the sky.</p><p>She hates him enough for it. She loves him enough for it.</p><p>But of course she won't. Not just because this is still her past and it is fixed and changing it would unravel the timeline beyond repair. But because she can’t bring herself to do it. Not yet. She will kill the Doctor someday - but not like this.</p><p>That doesn't mean that she can't still push him in front of that bus. </p><p>"But I'm afraid you'll have to forget it, Doctor dear." Her voice is laced with just a smidge of suggestion, not quite a memory erasure. A psychic filter to mess with her appearance in his mind. And of course, something to make him think he tripped instead of being pushed by the lovely lady he'd just been sharing coffee with.</p><p>He frowns, not understanding. She grabs his arm and pushes him into the street as hard as she can before he can do the math.</p><p>The bus is too slow to cause him any permanent damage - she knows, she'd been calculating its speed - and several passers-by went fussing over the poor man. She jumps in front of all of them, takes out her scarf and wraps it around his neck. He blinks at her with out-of-focus eyes.</p><p>"Something for you to remember me by," she sing-songs, before kissing him on the tip of his nose.</p><p>Timeline maintained, crisis averted. </p><p>One crisis, that is, because Donna Noble is probably on the verge of having a fit with how long the Doctor is taking. And she will be pissed when she finds out that he did so because he got distracted by some lady, had coffee with her, (“And she gives you a scarf, no less. Another one of your <em> mates </em> ?” <em> ) </em>and got run over by a bus.</p><p>Also, she’ll be absolutely furious when she finds out that there is no Planet of the Hats.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Vault</b>
</p><p>Good old Donna Noble. Missy regrets never having met her- she sounded delightful. The kind of person that would’ve decked her old regeneration, and, well, it’s not like he didn’t deserve it.</p><p>Donna Noble’s leather jacket is there too. Missy is inclined to take it, but it wouldn’t fit anyway. She takes the scarf back to the vault, though. It <em> is </em> hers, after all.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Daggers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Thought we could all bundle up together while the apocalypse is going on,” he says calmly, as if that would explain his sudden appearance. </p><p>“And who would you be, dear?” Missy asks, regarding the man, but the Doctor steps forward, eyebrows raised in surprise.</p><p>“Aren’t you the MI6 fellow I - will meet? In 2012? What are you doing here, agent O? And, and how-?”</p><p>“Long story short, agent O is just a cover story. I’m her, and I just came here because we’ll all forget about this year anyway.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> III - We have seen each other through it all </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> The Vault - 2007 </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>As soon as Harold Saxon was elected, Missy and the Doctor knew what was coming. They decided that the best way to avoid all the drama without breaking his promise would just to bunker themselves in the Vault for the Year that Never Was and wait until the time reset.</p><p>Apparently, landing the TARDIS on a holiday planet for a year was <em>"</em><em>cheating" </em>  and <em>"</em><em>an escape hazard" </em> as Nardole so kindly pointed out. Multiple times.</p><p>In the morning of the first day, the Doctor and Nardole are double-checking their supplies, while Missy occupies herself making a list of possible ways to kill the egg man - the Doctor couldn’t really forbid her from doing so if he would just come back to life anyway, could he? - when there's a knock at the Vault’s door. </p><p>The three of them look at one another, concerned. No one should even know the Vault existed. Certainly, no one should knock on its door. Nardole sighs, probably thinking it's some foul play on her part, but Missy is completely innocent on the matter and is just as intrigued as the boys.</p><p>“Who’s there?” the Doctor asks, voice booming, trying to disguise his uneasiness.</p><p>“A friend,” comes the answer, demanding, impatient, and <em>Northern. </em> “Now please open it up.”</p><p>Missy and the Doctor rise in sync to stand by the door. She quickly fetches one of her daggers and the Doctor raises his sonic and unlocks the door, revealing a tired-looking young man, of Indian descent and huge, sad brown eyes.</p><p>“Thought we could all bundle up together while the apocalypse is going on,” he says calmly, as if that would explain his sudden appearance. </p><p>“And who would you be, dear?” Missy asks, regarding the man, but the Doctor steps forward, eyebrows raised in surprise.</p><p>“Aren’t you the MI6 fellow I - will meet? In 2012? What are you doing here, agent O? And, and how-?”</p><p>“Long story short, agent O is just a cover story. I’m her, and I just came here because we’ll all forget about this year anyway.”</p><p>“Excuse me?!” the Doctor's eyebrows raise even higher, if that's possible, disappearing into his hairline.</p><p>“Oh, I like him, dear,” Missy says, draping herself over the Doctor. “Daring. Self-preserving. Can I keep him?”</p><p>The Doctor shakes his head and waves her away. He turns back to the stranger.</p><p>“Why should I believe you?”</p><p>“Why would I come back here?” He gestures around the Vault. “Now. If not to keep myself safe?”</p><p>“Why<em> aren’t </em> you here? In the Vault, in the future, that is. Has it been a thousand years already? And if you’re free from the Vault, why are you on Earth? Why are you pretending to be an MI6 agent? What happened to the real O?”</p><p>The alleged Master pinches the bridge of his nose, as if he’s starting to regret this idea already.</p><p>“Look, old man, it’s a very long story and, as your late wife would say, spoilers. Can you just let me in? I don’t want to be killed by my prick past self. Put me through every scanner you have, you’ll see I’m her,” he repeats, no small amount of annoyance in his tone.</p><p>The Doctor turns to Missy, suspicion marring his features.</p><p>“Missy, is this a trick?”</p><p>“Darling, how can you think that of me? And what exactly bringing another me here would do? Or how would I have accomplished that, for the matter?” she asks, putting her hands on her waist. She’d be properly angry at the Doctor if the prospect of meeting a future self wasn’t more interesting than fighting the old sap. He looks at the young man again and shrugs his shoulders.</p><p>“Come in, I guess. But if you are planning some kind of mischief, I’ll send you to the Toclafanes myself.”</p><p>The new... Master? Missy? rolls his eyes and current Missy does the same. His threat isn’t particularly menacing when all of them know this year will be erased. Missy rushes to the newcomer and loops her arm through his, guiding him further into the Vault.</p><p>““You are a beauty, aren’t you? Look at these eyelashes! It’s so nice to meet you, my dear. I’m so glad I’ll have intelligent company, after all.” the Master smiles, very pleased with himself. “Arrange another bedroom for him, will you?” Missy instructs the Doctor, who is pouting behind them.</p><p>The Doctor rolls his eyes and leaves to tinker with the Vault’s structure. Nardole stays in the middle of the room, arms crossed and annoyed. Well, annoying him is always fun, so the day is just perfect.</p><p> </p><p>Staying in the Vault is not bad, per se. They have plenty of space. Plenty of books. It’s just that one year is a lot of time. And they still have no pony.</p><p>“Why haven’t you given her a pony yet?” the Master asks, around month three.</p><p>“Will he give me one, someday?” Missy asks, holding her face between her hands, like a child on Christmas Day.</p><p>“Don’t answer that," the Doctor interrupts him. “We have no business knowing our future.”</p><p>“If I tell you you did, doesn't that become a fixed point in time, and then you’ll be forced to give it to her?”</p><p>“Enough about ponies! I won’t go outside on the apocalypse just because you’re bored.”</p><p>“May we disassemble Nardole then?”</p><p>The Doctor leaves the room without answering them. It’s a common occurrence.</p><p> </p><p>After a 26 hour-long marathon of <em>The Hobbit </em>and <em>The Lord of the Rings</em>, the Doctor goes to sulk by himself on some corner, because, apparently, the Masters had laughed at all the wrong times.</p><p>“I've met Tolkien,” the Master says, with a fond smile. “Lovely fellow.”</p><p>“What on earth have you been up to?” she asks, increasingly more curious about this Master’s life on Earth.</p><p>“You know I can’t tell you that.”</p><p>“I'll forget everything! If there's anything you can do now, it’s telling me.”</p><p>He looks at her with those pretty eyes filled with sorrow.</p><p>“No. I can’t.”</p><p>“What's with your obsession with keeping me in the dark? You sound like the Doctor!”</p><p>The Master doesn’t answer her. He stands up and walks away. Angry. He gets angry quite easily this one, always with tears in his eyes. It makes Missy very, very concerned.</p><p> </p><p>Two days before the end of the year, they decide to have a party. Missy and Nardole - in a rare instance of cooperation - decorate the Vault and, when they’re done, the Master is happy to sit by the piano to provide music.</p><p>Sometime around Missy and the Doctor’s fifth round of tango, Nardole makes a suggestion.</p><p>“We should play a game,” he says, eyeing the shelf where they keep the board games.</p><p>“Great idea!” the Master says, face lighting up. “Decide what we’ll play while I fix us more drinks. Missy, will you help me?”</p><p>Missy sees the spark in his eyes before he even finishes talking and follows him to the kitchen.</p><p>Half an hour later, Nardole is loudly snoring in the middle of the room. The Doctor looks at him, his eyebrows knitted together.</p><p>“What have you done to Nardole?”</p><p>The new Master bites his lip in false guilt, but Missy is impatient and just opens up.</p><p>“Laced his drink with something more powerful. This is a friend's game, Doctor! Nardole isn't a friend.”</p><p>“What are we playing then?”</p><p>“What do you think?” she winks. “Truth or dare.”</p><p>“Let's go already!” the Master says, already dragging Nardole out of the way “I want to embarrass the Doctor.”</p><p> </p><p>They spin the bottle once and Missy gets the Master. </p><p>“Dare.” Of course he would choose that, the little dear.</p><p>“I dare you to kiss the Doctor!”</p><p>“Missy, please,” the old grump says, rolling his eyes. Future her goes serious, also taken aback by her dare, as if he isn’t just dying to kiss the Doctor. Oh, this is going to be delicious.</p><p>“It's my dare, I can choose whatever I want. Kiss the boy, now.”</p><p>They face each other, embarrassed like teenagers on their first kiss. The Master kneels closer to the Doctor, his tongue darts to his lower lip. Missy smiles, amused, when she notices how the Doctor’s eyes follow the movement. Ah, the one constant in all their lives: the Doctor and the Master wanting to kiss each other.</p><p>The Doctor makes the first move, sliding his hand behind the Master's head and pulling him closer. He meets him in turn, pushing himself against the Doctor, hungry and urgently. Oh, future Doctor isn't giving him the cuddles he deserves, if he’s being so eager.</p><p>Missy’s smile freezes in her face as this thought drains the amusement from the whole situation. What does their future hold? The Master’s anger, his sadness, his desperation, where does it all come from? The Doctor and her are doing well, even if she still hates him sometimes and he’s so self-righteous and sanctimonious all the time. What could possibly go wrong that will turn her into <em> him </em>?</p><p>Unaware of their fears, the Doctor and the Master are tangled in each other, their hands desperately grasping the other’s hair, their waist, their neck. Missy is half tempted to join them, but her worry is still too great.</p><p>“Now, boys, let's keep things PG, ok?” </p><p>They break apart but keep their eyes locked. There’s so much worry and love in the Doctor's eyes that it breaks her heart. Why doesn't he look at her like that? </p><p>“So–” she says, trying to take the focus away from what just happened– “whose turn is it now?”</p><p> </p><p>They eventually get drunk enough for the Doctor to make more fun dares, but soon the Master is snoring softly on the floor.</p><p>“Youngsters. Can't keep their drink.”</p><p>“Don't want to leave,” the Doctor mumbles, his accent so thick he’s barely understandable.</p><p>“Then stay, you won’t be much worse than the puppy.”</p><p>The quantum fold technology of the Vault allows for several rooms to be created and they’d taken advantage of that for this year. The boys all get their own bedrooms and Nardole is already stashed safely away. But neither Missy nor the Doctor wants to bother to move the extra Master elsewhere.</p><p>“Since you’ll stay here, make yourself useful and unlace me. I can't do it myself.” </p><p>The Doctor frowns at that. She's certainly able to unlace her corset herself, that’s what she’s done the past few decades. But he isn’t in a state to argue. He spins her around, Missy unbuttons her blouse, takes it away, and giggles when the Doctor fumbles with the ribbons, the task of unlacing apparently too daunting for the Oncoming Storm.</p><p>Once they both shed their outerwear and are in clothes comfortable enough to sleep in, the Doctor raises and starts to walk towards one of the armchairs, when Missy pulls him back to bed. He flops by her side and she quickly wraps herself around him, leaving him no chance to escape. He makes no attempt of the sort, just hugs her tightly, his head resting between her neck and her collarbones.</p><p>“Thought you had enough of me for one night,” he whispers against her skin.</p><p>“Unfortunately, dear, no amount of you will ever be enough for me.”</p><p>The Doctor laughs, the sound reverberates through her.</p><p>“Good thing I’m staying right here, then.”</p><p> </p><p>Missy wakes up before the Doctor and untangles herself from him, carefully as to not wake him up. She runs her fingers softly through his hair, unable to suppress a smile. When she looks up, the Master is looking at her. He looks so young, yet the pain that clouds his eyes is ancient.</p><p>“Is everything alright, dear?”</p><p>“The two of you. It’s a farce. Everything will fall apart, how can you not see that?”</p><p>“You don't know what you're talking about,” Missy snarls.</p><p>“Oh, I think you know I’m right. I think you’ve always known. I think–” he says, kneeling in front of her– “that you’ve been lying to yourself since you set foot in this Vault. And you <em>know it. </em>”</p><p>Oh. There it is then. This experiment will be a failure. She should've seen this one coming. It was obvious. But she wanted so badly to travel with the Doctor without a caveat. She throws him another glance, no longer that enchanted by his sleeping form. </p><p>“I hate him,” she says, bitterness creeping in her voice.</p><p>“But we love him.” He sits by her side, covers her hand, still resting on the Doctor’s hair, with his own.</p><p>“Doesn’t mean I still wouldn’t like to see him dead and the universe burning. If only I didn't have to confront, the very next second, a universe without the Doctor. That would be the most dreadful thing indeed.”</p><p>The Master gazes at the Doctor, at Missy, at their tangled hands.</p><p>“Unless there wasn't a next second.”</p><p>Her future self opens a devious smile and Missy gets where he's going with this.</p><p>“Oh, you are so, so clever. I wish I could keep you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, dear!” they shout in unison.</p><p>The Doctor jolts awake and looks at both Masters gazing at him, matching murderous smiles on their faces.</p><p>“What is going on?”</p><p>“Shush, dear,” Missy comforts him “This will all be erased, remember?”</p><p>They timed it perfectly. They are brilliant, after all. The Master and Missy push the dagger at the same time. The regeneration energy starts leaking from the Doctor and Missy is laughing and the Master is laughing and then time and reality spin around them.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s over,” the Doctor announces when, right after the president of the United States is killed, no rift in time and space allows for the Toclafanes to rain down the world.</p><p>“Oh thank god,” Missy says, smiling brightly “The thought of spending a year locked with the two of you is dreadful.”</p><p>The Doctor mopes. It wouldn’t have been so bad, would it?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Poison</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Missy needs distance from  that  Doctor. The one moping in the university because she's locked him off her Vault. She has, however, nothing against meeting  this  Doctor, with his silly bow tie, pretty young face, and manic laugh.</p><p>He's playing with a football in Amelia Pond’s backyard and it's the cutest thing Missy has ever seen. </p><p>Oh, yes, this will do just fine.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> IV - Remember, despite our estrangement, I’m your man </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Bristol - 2013 </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The fight they had the week before has left her seething. Anytime the Doctor so much as attempts to enter the Vault, he is met with a variety of increasingly heavier objects aimed at his head with malice.</p><p>It had started as a light-hearted argument about the inherent amorality of the shell collectors of Agnok Ras, a planet where the shells are conscient, although non-verbal. It escalated, as discussions between them tended to do, but this time, neither of them caved in. As debates about ethics go, this one hadn’t been particularly meaningful, but the topic of the fight didn't matter. The only thing that does is that, now, Missy is mad. </p><p>The Doctor had attempted to apologize, oh, he had. He brought in all of her favourite takeaway food. Tempted her with stories of treason, murder, and tax evasion. He promised to sit through a marathon of Saw movies, all 58 of them. But Missy isn't in the mood for apologies. What she needs is to let out some steam.</p><p>She had tried her throwing stars - she even made an accurate puppet of the Doctor to use as a target - but to no avail. Because no matter how many violent outlets she tries, it won't ever address the root of the problem. And that is the unfairness of it all.</p><p>Not the Vault - she’s agreed to it. But the fact he would never see that she might have a reason to act the way she does. It's unfair that she's the one who has to understand his side, but he won't ever try to do the same. It's so unfair and she's so angry. And she loves him <em> so much.  </em>Perhaps that is the worst of it all. Missy hates a lot of things in the universe, but nothing quite as much as she hates loving the Doctor. </p><p>Because he doesn't love her back, does he?</p><p>He doesn't. And she can sulk and shout and make a big drama of it all, but it won't change a thing and, more importantly, it won’t be fun. And she needs to have fun. She deserves it. So that’s why she's opening the door, for once not caring if he notices that she can do that. What would he do? Physically hold her back? She is significantly more fit than him despite her smaller stature, and the Doctor has his silly moral conviction to not raise a hand against her during this agreement. </p><p>If she escapes, the deal is off. He won't protect her from another execution and might not forgive her again. For good, this time. But she just can't bring herself to care. She’s so angry and frustrated, and she just needs to leave that place, do something evil, something that would make her feel like herself again, somewhere far away from the Doctor.</p><p>And that’s why she takes a bus to London.</p><p> </p><p>Missy needs distance from <em> that </em>  Doctor. The one moping in the university because she's locked him off her Vault. She has, however, nothing against meeting  <em> this  </em>Doctor, with his silly bow tie, pretty young face, and manic laugh.</p><p>He's playing with a football in Amelia Pond’s backyard and it's the cutest thing Missy has ever seen. </p><p>Oh, yes, this will do just fine.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, there!”</p><p>The Doctor looks at her from the other side of the fence, all bright eyes and an unguarded smile. A flash of recognition crosses his face. <em> 'I know you, don't I?' </em> she can see him asking, the cogs moving in his brain. But he can't tell. Not yet. </p><p>"Hi! Are you looking for Amelia? Or Rory? They went shopping, but I can give them a call if you just-"</p><p>“No, no, dear. I've come to see you.”</p><p>“Me?” he points at himself, confused.</p><p>“My, of course. You're the only interesting person in this city.”</p><p>He frowns, but the disapproval he’s hoping to express is diminished due to his lack of eyebrows. Missy nearly giggles thinking about how he'll overcompensate for that in his next regeneration.</p><p>“Plenty of interesting folks here, I'd say. But only one alien.”</p><p>“Or two.”</p><p>He walks to the edge of the fence.</p><p>“Who are you?”</p><p>“I think you know... my dear Doctor.”</p><p>His eyes open wide, he takes a step back.</p><p>“Master.”</p><p>“I've changed that. It’s the <em> Mistress </em> now. As you can clearly see.” She gestures towards her upgraded body.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” he asks, out of breath.</p><p>“Keeping you company. I’m afraid you'll have a very long, very boring year ahead of you.”</p><p>“I mean what are you doing <em> here? </em> ” he repeats, blinking rapidly in distress. “You were on Gallifrey. Trapped in the Time Lock.”</p><p>“Oh, dear. It's so boring when you don't know the whole picture. I escaped. As you know I would do.”</p><p>The Doctor covers his mouth with one hand. He looks like he’s on the verge of tears. Of joy, hate, or incredulity, she can’t tell. But Missy doesn’t leave him much time to make sense of it all.</p><p>“Come inside, I'll make you a drink.”</p><p>She guides him inside the Ponds’ house, even though this is <em> his </em>  friends’ house and he’s the one who knows it. The Doctor just follows her, in shock. That's good. A good lad. A lad that <em>  accepts </em> the proper place of things.</p><p> </p><p>She pulls things out of her bag and starts mixing cocktails for the two of them. Hers is purple, with a Venusian lime twirl. His is a friendly cerulean blue with a straw and a red umbrella. He looks like the sort of man who likes umbrellas on his drinks. All the while, the Doctor looks at her like she's a mirage and she appreciates the attention.</p><p>Missy sits on the Pond’s couch, props her feet up on their coffee table, and takes a sip from her drink. The house is adorable. Messy and cosy. She wonders if she should take inspiration and add more throw pillows to the Vault. Give it a bit more of a homely aesthetic.</p><p>“Are you going to tell me how you escaped?” He remains at the table, nursing the drink she's shoved into his hands.</p><p>“Absolutely not.”</p><p>“Is this part of an evil plan?”</p><p>“The only evil plan I’m concocting now is messing with you, dear. I’m on a- well, let’s call it a good streak.”</p><p>He takes a long sip of his drink and his eyes go dreamy.</p><p>“Pardon me if I’ll take your word for it and not fight you on this.”</p><p>“My, my what would your humans say?”</p><p>He has the good grace to look guilty, but doesn’t do much more. She laughs and he laughs back, and it's the most casually comfortable encounter she's had with a Doctor in ages. Look at that, and she had expected bow tie to be all angry.</p><p>“This tastes like the drinks we’ve had in Arcadia. Remember that? Oh, we were barely in our eighties!” </p><p>She walks to him and takes a small sip from his drink. “It does. Wasn’t my intention, but I’m glad it brings you good memories.”</p><p>“Are you… have you met a future regeneration of mine?”</p><p>Missy doesn’t answer, just sits next to him, and keeps studying the house. Houseplants would be a good addition to the Vault as well.</p><p>“I'm sad I never met Amy and Rory, you know. You seem to love them a lot.”</p><p>“Why didn't you? Where were you, in the centuries I've spent here? In this body? Mistress, I've missed you-”</p><p>“You have your wife,” she interrupts him before this can get too far. “You have your Ponds.”</p><p>“But I don't have you.”</p><p>Missy looks away from his wandering eyes, the adoration in them so unfamiliar. Why hasn’t she ever visited this body?</p><p>“You didn’t need me,” she settles on that. It's true enough.</p><p>“I do,” he says, sounding childish. But then he sniffs his glass and frowns. “What's in this?”</p><p>“A little concoction of my own making. I wonder how you'll respond to it.”</p><p>He stops with the glass halfway to his mouth.</p><p>“Are you trying to poison me?”</p><p>“Just to incapacitate you, not to kill,” she explains.</p><p>“Mistress!”</p><p>“I do love this name in your mouth. Future-you uses only Missy. It goes well with our whole act.”</p><p>“Mistress,” he repeats, his eyes closed, savouring the word. Missy smiles, pleased.</p><p>“Yes, dear?”</p><p>“Aren’t you risking a paradox coming here?”</p><p>She shrugs and leans back against the chair. “Probably. But I was bored.”</p><p>Despite knowing the drink is spiked, he shrugs and takes another sip. “Of course.”</p><p>“‘Of course’ what?”</p><p>“If there is someone who would have no problems tearing the space-time continuum apart to fix their <em> boredom </em>, it would be the Master. Or the Mistress.” He waves in her general direction with a sort of reverence. “I should scold you for being like… this.”</p><p>“And why won't you?”</p><p>“You've poisoned me and I can't really think straight. Words hard.”</p><p>She moves her chair closer to him, puts her chin in her hand.</p><p>“Fascinating. The Doctor without his words. Oh, how many enemies must've dreamed of this day.”</p><p>“And you're my best enemy,” he points out, copying her movements.</p><p>She scrunches her nose at him, at how adorable he is. He moves a bit closer.</p><p>“Is it a bad time to ask for cuddles?” he asks, lightly running his fingers up her arm.</p><p>“Yes,” Missy answers, firmly. </p><p>“Oh,” he sighs, disappointed. “Can I call River and ask her for cuddles?"</p><p>“Mention her again and I’ll stab you.”</p><p>“It’s not like you - or River, for that matter - have never stabbed me before.”</p><p>“Well, that’s your own fault for liking stabby people.”</p><p>He drains his glass and she can see his eyes losing focus.</p><p>“Why are you here with no evil plan? Why are you teasing me?”</p><p>“I just needed a break.”</p><p>“From what?”</p><p>“I can't tell you, dear. It would risk a paradox.”</p><p>“It's from me, isn't it?”</p><p>She backs away. “Now, why would you say that?”</p><p>“You're sad. What has future me done? I'll fight him.”</p><p>“Oh, fighting for my honour? You're a charmer, Doctor.”</p><p>He smiles and takes her hand into his, plays with her fingers. Missy tenses under his touch.</p><p>“He's so lucky and stupid.”</p><p>“Doctor…”</p><p>He moves closer, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, hiccupping. “Stu- stupid because you are so beautiful and clever.”</p><p>Missy pulls away, but the Doctor moves his hand to cup her face and keep himself close to her. He still looks enraptured by her presence. Her hearts are racing and she thinks that, perhaps, this wasn't the best plan. This is too much, how close his face is to hers that she can see the gold flecks in his green eyes, feel his breath on her lips. She very much wants to forget the teasing and follow his request and just cuddle with this young, reckless Doctor who still misses his Master so, so much.</p><p>She should go back to the Vault before she tears reality apart. </p><p>The Doctor leans forwards and brushes his lips on hers just before she manages to stand up. Missy takes another step back for good measure. If he had actually kissed her, Missy is sure she wouldn’t have had the strength to leave. The Doctor looks pitifully devastated.</p><p>“That was fun, dear,” she chirps, straightening her dress and trying to sound light-hearted. “Did I forget to mention that amnesia is a side effect from this poison? It was nice knowing this you. See you in a few centuries!”</p><p>“Please don’t go,” he whimpers, so wanting, and so lovingly.</p><p>“Paradoxes, darling. I have to.”</p><p>“B-but I miss you so much.”</p><p>“You’ll see me again. Soon. Or not. We’ll discover together, won’t we?”</p><p>“Please,” he grasps her wrist before she can walk away. “I lov- I love you.”</p><p>Missy freezes. She knows it’s the poison speaking. The Doctor doesn’t love her. But his grip on her wrist is so warm and desperate and it makes both her hearts skip a beat. Maybe he did love her, a long time ago, and it comes to his mind when he’s lonely and weak. But he doesn’t now.<em>  Her </em> Doctor doesn’t love her.</p><p>“Hush, now. Don’t spoil all the fun with sentimentality.”</p><p>“I love you, Master. Mistress. I love you. Please don’t go.”</p><p>She pries his hand from her wrist and watches as his head lowers, the sleep finally taking over his mind. She hesitates, but then places a kiss on his head, and strokes his hair. </p><p>“I hate you, you idiot,” she whispers. He would know what she really means.</p><p>Missy goes outside and takes the bus back to Bristol. It's a long trip and it serves her well to erase that version of him from her head.</p><p> </p><p>The Doctor wakes up with a cracking headache and Amy tapping her foot at him. He shouldn't have had quite so much of the ginger beer.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> Bristol </strong>
</p><p>Missy sneaks past a sleeping Doctor, gets into the Vault, and locks the door from the inside. It's another two hours before she hears a knock and, this time, she lets him in.</p><p>At first, he doesn't say anything, just looks at her, dishevelled, with the puffy eyes of someone who overslept.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>“I can't remember... the last twelve hours. I think I-”</p><p>“Had too much ginger beer again?”</p><p>She sounds only slightly judgemental, but it's enough to make him feel guilty. </p><p>“I-I guess I haven't indulged in a while,” he says sheepishly. “I'm sorry things have been awkward these days. I can make it up to you. What do you say about Chinese?” </p><p>She almost feels sorry for having poisoned him. Only almost.</p><p>“That sounds lovely, dear.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>“Is it a bad time to ask for cuddles?” is actually one of the dialogue options from Valc0's Thoschei prompt generator. It was really perfect for this chapter :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A very tiny blade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“The Doctor said that if I’m able to behave long enough to go with you and get some, he’ll take me to see the Festival of Lights in Centauri Nova, and Nardole won’t be invited. Isn’t that lovely?” she tells Bill, her blue eyes twinkling. </p><p>Missy seems filled with restless, joyful energy. There's a spring to her step and she keeps whistling happy songs. She looks almost innocent, but Bill knows better.</p><p>“Didn't know you find Bristol so exciting.”</p><p>“The mission is what's exciting, dear! Acquiring an item, avoiding any danger. Resisting.”</p><p>“Resisting?”</p><p>“The urge to kill a human, of course.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> V - So don’t throw away this thing we had </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> Bristol - 2017 </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve got a mission down the docks for you.”</p><p>When the Doctor summoned her to his office, Bill was expecting to hear all kinds of things, but this is still surprising.</p><p>“Down the docks?” she repeats, excited despite herself. “That sounds ominous.”</p><p>“It’s just a quick hop. Missy needs to buy something.”</p><p>Okay, that changes everything. “But it’s a <em>mission?</em>”</p><p>“That’s how she’s calling it.”</p><p>Down the docks. That’s okay, that’s not a long walk. But it’s with Missy. Bill doesn’t like to admit it, but she’s still terrified of Missy. Sure, the whole evil Mary Poppins thing has its charm, and she’s never really <em>done </em>anything harmful since she’s been in Bristol with the Doctor. And that’s 70 years and counting. But she could. At any time she could kill Bill, probably needing nothing more than an evil glare. The Doctor seems to sense her uneasiness.</p><p>“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but… It involves ice cream.”</p><p>Bill’s eyebrows knit together but she already knows she’ll do it. She’s too intrigued to do otherwise.</p><p> </p><p>“You felt like it?” she asks the Time Lady when the two of them are already on their ways, wrapped in coats and scarves to fend off the chilly wind. “That’s it. That’s the mission. You felt like eating ice cream.”</p><p>“Yes, and the Doctor said that if I’m able to behave long enough to go with you and get some, he’ll take me to see the Festival of Lights in Centauri Nova, and Nardole won’t be invited. Isn’t that lovely?” she tells Bill, her blue eyes twinkling. </p><p>Missy seems filled with restless, joyful energy. There's a spring to her step and she keeps whistling happy songs. She looks almost innocent, but Bill knows better.</p><p>“Didn't know you find Bristol so exciting.”</p><p>“The mission is what's exciting, dear! Acquiring an item, avoiding any danger. Resisting.”</p><p>“Resisting?”</p><p>“The urge to kill a human, of course.”</p><p>Bill laughs nervously. She's joking. Isn't she? Missy smiles and it looks awfully a lot like a cat who's just spotted a distracted bird.</p><p>Bill is painfully aware of who the bird would be in this scenario.</p><p>“Why,” she swallows before continuing, uneasy. “Why isn’t the Doctor here?”</p><p>“He’s grading tests.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>Seems to Bill that it’s a flimsy reason to send her on <em>a mission </em>with a homicidal alien. But she supposes that’s the whole point. One more task done so that Missy can prove she's trustworthy.</p><p>“We should go before the store closes,” Bill says, speeding up her pace. Missy follows her dutifully.</p><p> </p><p>They acquire the ice cream without further drama, although Bill is the one who orders and pays, seeing as how Missy eyes the seller with such a predatorial glare, Bill fears for his safety if he tries to charge Missy for anything.</p><p>They walk back, each with an ice cream cone and Missy toting a bag with the ice lollies she and the Doctor will have. Bill eyes the bag, and wonders. </p><p>“So… What is your thing with the Doctor?” Bill asks, as a way to make small talk, but also because she really would like to understand.</p><p>“My <em>thing </em> . Oh my dear, even if we had a hundred years I couldn't begin to explain the nature of our <em>thing. </em>”</p><p>“Cause you see, I get the whole ‘I couldn’t kill my oldest friend’, but I don’t get why he hangs out with you in the Vault when he could like, give you free rein of the thing. Or leave in you some Time Lord appropriate prison. Or why does he invite you to play crazy music duets and give you ’ice cream missions’.”</p><p>“The Doctor has a peculiar way of dealing with things, dear. I’m sure you’ve noticed that already.”</p><p>Bill knows he does. But she also has a theory. “I think he must love you a lot.”</p><p>For a moment, for a fraction of a moment, Bill sees something in her eyes. A vulnerability, a longing. Then it's gone as soon as it comes.</p><p>“Don't be ridiculous, Miss Potts. We're Time Lords.”</p><p>“So that means no love?”</p><p>Missy’s voice sounds strained as she pointedly does not look at Bill. “You ask a lot of questions, d'you know that?”</p><p>“Apparently that's why the Doctor likes having me around,” she says, with a cheeky smile.</p><p>Missy laughs but, for some reason, it doesn't frighten Bill. </p><p>“Well, you’re fun.” Missy sounds amused. More than that, even. She sounds<em> approving.  </em>“Hopefully, he’ll keep you around long enough for you to actually learn something.”</p><p> </p><p>They arrive at the university and Bill seems ready to leave, but the Doctor asks her to wait for a minute.</p><p>“How was it?” he asks, grandfatherly concern all over his voice.</p><p>“It was… fun.”</p><p>The Doctor frowns. “Fun?”</p><p>“In the sense of being interesting? She’s an interesting figure. Only mildly terrifying.”</p><p>“Did she scare you?”</p><p>“I think if I say that she wasn’t scary, I’ll have to fear her much more.”</p><p>The Doctor’s frown unlaces itself into a smile.</p><p>“Good night, Bill.”</p><p>"Good night, Doctor," she says, and walks away, but almost hopes she could stay and see what he'll tell Missy next.</p><p> </p><p>The Doctor meets Missy in the kitchen. She has her feet propped up on the table and the ice lollies in a bucket right in the middle of it. </p><p>“So, did I pass the test? Did Miss Potts pass the inquiry? Did Nardole learn to sneak around without breathing so loud?” She shoots the android a cutting look as Nardole walks out from behind the door where he was very poorly hiding, unrepentant.</p><p>“I have nothing to regret about how I behaved in my mission.”</p><p>“Send him away, Doctor. No more fragile humans for me to risk killing.”</p><p>The Doctor rolls his eyes. “Yes. Good night, Nardole. Thank you.”</p><p>“Sir," he nods at the Doctor and glares at Missy, who sticks her tongue out.</p><p>Missy pushes the bucket to the Doctor.</p><p>“Honestly. I could be allowed to disable him just once. It would be a better exercise.” the Doctor opens his mouth to protest, but she shushes him. “Here’s your ice cream.”</p><p>Missy hands him an ice lolly. Chocolate and mint. The Doctor isn’t quite sure he likes this combo this time around, but Missy’s gesture is what counts, so he takes it and thanks her.</p><p>When he bites into it, something sharp tears a gash in his lower lip.</p><p>“What–?”</p><p>Hidden inside the lolly, is a tiny blade.</p><p>“Missy!”</p><p>She bursts into laughter, quite pleased with herself.</p><p>“Clever, isn’t it? I’ve gotten the idea from that tv show, Killing Eve. Oh, it’s so good, Doctor. Kinda reminds me of us, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Missy, you could’ve hurt me! I could’ve swallowed this.”</p><p>She touches his bloody lip with a tenderness that doesn’t match her previous action.</p><p>“Oh, please. What a couple of internal injuries would do to you? Aren’t you going to ask me how I sealed the package flawlessly?”</p><p>“No. I think I should leave.”</p><p>“Oh, Doctor, please,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You can be so very dramatic.”</p><p>He stands up, not moved by her beautiful eyes or her soft hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“See you later, Missy.”</p><p> </p><p>The Doctor doesn’t visit her for a couple more days to show how truly angry he is, but he knows it’s no use. Missy is much too pleased with her mischief.</p><p>When he feels she's learned her lesson (he's too bored without her company), the Doctor goes to the Vault and Missy doesn't look one bit repentant.</p><p>“How are you feeling, my dear?”</p><p>He waves for her to stop talking and sits next to her on her bed. “What are you reading?”</p><p>“Efficient poisons from the 15th century, nothing for you to worry about.” She closes the book before turning to face him. “How is Bill?”</p><p>“Asked about you.”</p><p>“I like her,” Missy says, in approval. “You chose this one well.”</p><p>“As much as you liked Jo?”</p><p>“Oh, don't push it.”</p><p>The Doctor laughs and leans his head on Missy's shoulder. She laces her fingers with his.</p><p>“Perhaps if we have more time. Bill is still scared of me.”</p><p>“I think she fancies you,” he considers. “In a sort of terrified way.”</p><p>“That’s silly. There’s no reason for her to be scared of me. I’m trying to be better!”</p><p>“You did make it pretty clear that you thought she should be killed the first time she met you.”</p><p>“But I didn’t kill her!” Missy whines. “It could have been so much worse.”</p><p>“Next time will be better.”</p><p>Missy snuggles closer to him and the Doctor puts an arm around her.</p><p>“You think she'll want a next time?” she asks.</p><p>“You know she will,” the Doctor says, a smile coloring his words “She's brave, you noticed that.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re proud of her! That’s so sappy, Doctor. Have some self-respect.”</p><p>But he has none. He's too old for self-respect. He’ll gush over Bill and gush over Missy because even if she hid a knife in his popsicle, she’s willing to be by his side. He hugs her tighter.</p><p>“I’m okay with you trying to kill me.”</p><p>“Eh, it never sticks anyway.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. She didn't</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The words play around in her head. Again and again and again. There’s a lovely beat to it. She’d dance to it, if she could just stand up. <i>Oh, Missy, you’re so fine, you blow my mind.</i></p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <span>VI - And I’ll love you till my dying days</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span>Mondasian Colony Ship</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Stand with me. It’s all I ever wanted.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Me too.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words play around in her head. Again and again and again. There’s a lovely beat to it. She’d dance to it, if she could just stand up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, Missy, you’re so fine, you blow my mind</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The funny thing is, she teased and played him and did a bit more than that, but Missy didn’t want to kill the Doctor. She never did. Not even her past self wanted that, despite his bravado. He’d only said it because he wouldn’t do it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You never would, you coward.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he had killed himself, that he had. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I guess you don’t know me so well. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Missy laughs, remembering those times. How she burned like a sun, how she had hurt the Doctor the best possible way, the way only the Master could. Her laughter turns into a cough that has her choking as her body degrades. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>What would  </span>
  </em>
  <span>you</span>
  <em>
    <span> die for?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>For you, my beautiful idiot. For the Doctor. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Not that he would know. Because she can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> stand up! Her hands flay uselessly at her sides, unable to push her up. She doesn't even have the strenght to scream in frustration. And if she could do anything at all, she would just stand with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Stand with me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They could see the whole universe together and hear the goddamn music that he’d talked about so much. They could even dance to it!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s time to stand </span>
  </em>
  <span>with</span>
  <em>
    <span> the Doctor.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears run down her face and her skin glows regeneration-golden. A few more tricks up her sleeve than her past self anticipated, huh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe, if she gets out of this one, things will be different. Maybe they’ll have tea together. And go to parties. And stay up all night gazing at stars. Oh, that would be lovely, wouldn’t it?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Missy looks up, to the explosion-coloured sky, wishing that there would be stars. The Doctor would love it if they could gaze at the stars together. Every star in the universe, just as they promised.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They will get another chance, won’t they? The Doctor and the Master. It doesn’t end like this. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>cannot </span>
  </em>
  <span>end like this. They’ll meet again, as different people. Maybe better people.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe, for once, they’ll be kind. To themselves, to each other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last sparkles of the explosion fade away in the sky and the last embers fizzle out in Missy’s eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without hope, without witness, without reward. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yeah. They would just be kind.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry about that. This story was meant to be all fun and games, but The Doctor Falls is an episode that exists, so. Sorry.<br/>But not everything is angst! I like to believe that what ultimately moves both the Doctor and the Master is hope. Hope that, one day, they'll have their friend back. And I think this really is possible!</p>
<p>And speaking of hope, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineternity/works">ineternity</a> and other lovely people are organizing an event called The Hope Zine. Artists and writers will work together to create pieces to bring a little joy in these trying times. If sounds like something for you, check their <a href="https://doctorwhohopezine.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a> and learn more about it! </p>
<p>And thank you so much everyone who read, commented and kudo'ed this ficc! I loved writing this story and I appreciate so much that you took time to read it &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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